In the world of gender equality, feminism and macholism we find ourselves, the male folks have a pivotal distinct advantage over the female lots. A code. Greater than that forged by Da Vinci. Unwritten, hardly mentioned yet formidable. It’s intriguing to note that these set of rules have, over the years, bonded the male folks. No matter where you come from, age or antecedent, so far you’re a guy, you’re bound to respect the Bro Code.
Here I give to you the top six bro codes.
- The Tricky Questions: Suppose your bro’s wife or fiancé ask you about his activities; movement, location, work hours, drink related or general female formatic questions, it’s expected that you either don’t give anything away or you remain absolutely silent. As a guy, you’re not allowed to be close friends with your bro’s wife or girlfriend. If she tries to get close to you, develop an anti-social attitude and flee!
- Minny-Manny Love: No matter how pretty your bro’s sister is, you’re not allowed to stare, approach under any circumstance, comment on her desirable features or ogle at her. She’s off limit. And if you must eye her, just be sure your bro doesn’t know about it and won’t find out.
- Boys Over Girls: You do not ditch your Bros for a girl. Never! I mean, your Bros have been around before she came around. If you made plans to hang out with the squad and then run into a girl you like, make arrangements to see her the next day. Or whenever. Do not break formation and separate yourself from the pack. This will hurt you in the nearest future. However, if it’s a long-standing gf or fiancé, you can seek a pass from your Bros and wait their approval.
- Fashion Mup: If your bro channeled his inner Alexander Song or got inspired by Kcee and dressed horribly to a an event, his outfit can bring shame to the bro pack. It’s thus your duty to pull him aside and tell him how horribly he looks. One badly dressed bro can mutate the whole pack if not corrected.
- No Homo: You must greet your bros appropriately at all times. If you must hug your bro, make sure your chests do not touch. A hug can never come before a handshake. All hugs must be accompanied with a pat on the back. Hugging must last no more than a second; this is not a soccer match. If you develop special handshakes or greetings, stick to that routine always unless you both agree to make a change.
- The X Factor: Never go after or date your bro’s exes. I do not care if she is Yvonne Nelson or Rihanna. I do not care if she says it’s okay. I do not care if she shows up at your house in the middle of the night in a bikini. You are not to touch your bro’s exes. If your bro breaks up with his girl, act like you broke up with her too. Also, never go after a girl your bro is already chasing. If you both meet a hot chick, whoever makes the first move gets to keep going after the prize.
The bro code is unwritten yet it binds us. That’s what keeps the guys floating.
What other codes did I omit? Do let me know in the comment section so we can have a go at it together.
This piece was inspired by Themusingofanafricanbachelor.
Photo credit: Muyiwa Ogundare.