Random Thoughts with Asat – The Davinci Bro Code

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In the world of gender equality, feminism and macholism we find ourselves, the male folks have a pivotal distinct advantage over the female lots. A code. Greater than that forged by Da Vinci. Unwritten, hardly mentioned yet formidable. It’s intriguing to note that these set of rules have, over the years, bonded the male folks. No matter where you come from, age or antecedent, so far you’re a guy, you’re bound to respect the Bro Code.

Here I give to you the top six bro codes.  Continue reading “Random Thoughts with Asat – The Davinci Bro Code”

Random Thoughts with Asat – Wedding, Marriage and Tonto

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This should be short.

I hope.

So news making the round for the past two weeks were varied allegations and counter allegations by Mrs Churchill and Her Immaculate Mr X. That their celebrity marriage is heading for a crash is not a major news item again, to be sincere. These days, Nepa light in my area last longer than most of the celebrity co-unions. What strikes me was the lies and fronting Tonto Dikeh had been pushing forward about her marriage to her willing consumers before it purported crash.

Your see, Mrs Tonto has had us believe her marriage was Eldorado. Branding it as major goals for them single ladies. Her wedding was goals for many ladies and they are still hell-bent on finding a man like Churchill who will spoil them silly. We were all chilling in the comfort of our homes when Mrs Tonto broke the news of her husband buying her a Lexus Jeep. Just for keeps. She had serialized our eyes with a whole lot of material possessions her LOML had been dishing out day in, day out. Our single sisters had all been hoping, wishing and praying for a man like Churchill. 

Once again, the society focus have been on the wedding and not the marriage. The focus have shifted from compatibility and comfort in marriage to material possessions and gift. Fame, money and class have replace humility, tolerance and self-sacrificing spirits.

My generation is now more concerned with pre-wedding shots, Bridal shower, Bella naija wedding, bespoke event centers and ovation centre spreads. My generation will attend a wedding ceremony and won’t bother saying a prayer for the new couple. Instead, we will argue and compare the wedding with the prior one we attended last Saturday. My generation will analyse the bride from the wedding gown to the make up. 

The holy matrimony between a couple goes beyond the wedding day. Our focus should be on the marriage and not the frivolities that surround one Saturday afternoon. 

Weddings maximally last for five hours. Marriage is a lifelong commitment. But if you’re a Mrs Churchill and Mr X, maybe if they can last a year. Be guided. 

 

Rant Over!

Be kind enough to leave a comment below. 

Picture credit. Larthorber photography

Novels, Novels and More Novels

Hello friends and fellow novel lovers.

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I’m Lisbeth Salander and this is my welcome note.

Welcome to the novel world. Granted, you love novels and that’s why you’re here.

Yeah you heard me, I said novels. And when I say novels, I also mean, by extension, everything pertaining to novels. Things like writing, whether for novels, magazines- whatever you can think of, and reading too.

However, I know of you friends who do not like novels, maybe because they seem too long and it’s really sickening for you to imagine yourself sit (or lye- like me) for hours doing nothing but reading; or maybe you can’t seem to concentrate on a book , however interesting, for a long time.

Hmmmmm.

Whatever your reason, if you would like to learn of how you can enjoy reading novels or books in general, not necessary long ones though, be ALERT and WATCH OUT for one of my succeeding posts. I’ll even suggest novellas that would make you want to read their related novels.

For my novel lovers, I have really interesting books for you too and lengthy series that would keep you going all year

Just wait and see!!!!

Lisbeth Salander  is an ardent communicator and writes from the Pan African University in Lagos, Nigeria.

Water, Water and Harmattan

Hello People. I am Back!

A very long sabbatical it was and i’m sorry for the break in transmission. It’s like forever since I shared something about Spotless Skin – Secrets Revealed. I had a whole lot of things to wrap up but truly, I am fully back.

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This heat is getting unbearable and the truth is I can’t just wait for harmattan to lower the temperature. The sun this days is rated 18+ biko. The harmattan season, which most people dread, can actually be enjoyable with the right routine. Trust me, I know.

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Visibility is usually poor during Harmattan

It’s a common knowledge harmattan often stresses the skin. So on beauty corner this week, let’s talk about this awesome pill I discovered recently. Don’t worry its not bitter. It’s cheap, easily affordable and totally works wonders.

The magic potion is mother earth’s milk..ok, ok, it’s WATER. Yes!

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The effect of Harmattan can be very brutal

Water taken in the appropriate amounts can help cushion the effects of harmattan and actually make it enjoyable. For those that can, water therapy during this season can reduce dry lips, thirst and dry itchy skin. I have a easy schedule for my personal therapy that I would like to share with you.

Here it goes:

  • Drink 120ml of water immediately you wake up. Do not eat anything one hour prior to and after drinking. If you are starting for the first time, start with about 75ml and then increase it a gradual pace.
  • Wait for 45 minutes after meal before drinking water. When you do, drink at least  50ml, an equivalent of  1 sachet of pure water.
  • Do not drink soda or soft drinks with meals, and if you must, drink them separately.
  • Never go to bed thirsty. If you feel thirsty,satisfy that urge before you go to bed.

NB:The quality of water you drink matters. Please make sure your water source is portable.
A little exercise also helps. I personally prefer a short run because i’m a lazy runner but if you can it is helpful to warm up on a cold morning and get sweaty a bit. It helps to beat the cold and keep fit at the same time.

Europeans will say Winter is Coming. In Nigeria, we say Harmattan is coming.

Be prepared!

Till next week on Beauty Corner, stay healthy, stay fresh and stay beautiful.

Short but useful. Don’t forget to drop your comments and questions..

Till then, it’s Au Revoir.

Temikotan Precious Aderonke is a trained Microbiologist and an alumna of The Federal University of Technology, Akure.

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Happy Anniversary To Us

How. Time. Flies.

Happy Anniversary with WordPress.com!
You registered on WordPress.com 4 years ago.
Thanks for flying with us. Keep up the good blogging.

I woke up to a happy anniversary message this morning. It’s been four wonderful years of blogging. Four years of sharing my thoughts using the WordPress platform. Four years of reading people’s comments on my posts and having the most tickling feeling only I can explain. You all have been my support over the years. I’d disturb your timelines with my posts on Facebook and everywhere and tagged a whole lot of you. Annoying something! But the love you had for me came through and you all hardly lay a complaint.

Thank You.

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Older friends would remember the days of press council in Aquinas College. News we would broadcast to the school community every Friday. The seed had been sown and I took the budding cud to the Uni. Together with John and the team, as the Editor-In-Chief of my department’s press council, which we ran like the University press council, we broke records. We surpassed our expectation to say the least. Our Bi-monthly publications were usually a sold out, our information board was fully engaging and the whole press council project was a fantastic learning curve. We interviewed senior lecturers and hey, we also interviewed the Vice Chancellor. Massive moments those were. Victor, world class graphic designer, Gbemisola, Fortune, the sport correspondent, Dami, Tosin and a whole lot of you I possibly can’t mention. You guys were the best.

While many only see blogging through the needle’s eyes of Google Ad-sense and all, making money out of it has never been my drive. I see a platform where thoughts and ideas can be expressed. And I’ve been doing that for four years now.

I’ve been honored to have guest writers on this page. While they are currently on self induced vacation, be rest assured Beauty Corner with Precious and Shots on Target with Kholar will be back very soon. In the meantime, i should introduce the elegant Lisbeth Salander. She’s the latest addition to the family and going forward she’ll be delighting novel lovers with her thoughts. Something you need to look forward to.

If you’re wondering how I fared with my first blog post, check Here.

 

Exciting times await us all!

As always, make friends with the comment section.

Random Thoughts with Asat – Of Prophets, Prophecies and Predictions

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What a Week!!!

Donald Trump is the president-elect of the self-acclaimed free world, America. I mean, ‘Your Excellency President Trump sir’! I laugh out loud. The whole election chagrin had got me thinking how we care as Nigerians about frivolous things and nick our mind off the real troubles we face as a people and as a nation.

Two things happened this week that made a light of what the GOAT Jesus had said some two thousand years ago. In the last days, many false prophets will abound with frivolous prophecies. I would imagine these so called prophets, many of you believe, adore and worship more than God himself, are no different from our youths who gamble on soccer bets using odds, permutation and pure logic. If Barcelona is playing a weaker team, the permutation is worked out based on Barca’s present form, the recent results between the pair and other logic. Truth is, your prophet use logic for predictions. Your pastor is just another NairaBet player.

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A certain ‘Man of God’ had said he saw a vision. A revelation from God which, according to the pastor, showed the winner of the election. He said the election was going to be very close. He said the winner will encounter challenges at the beginning of his administration. He then said the winner would be a woman. Everyone, bar few people in this country, thought the winner of the election was going to be a woman. America’s elections for the past two decades have always been a close call. And no one resumes a new job without initial difficulties and settling down challenges. I mean, I’m facing one currently. You see, your prophet thought of all these permutations, followed the polls, watched CNN far too long and made his bet. If only he had been watching FOXtv! Your pastor failed.

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The Woman Winner

In another classical twist, a prophet was arrested this week in Lagos for defrauding bank customers after giving them fake prophecies. A police source claimed the woman prophet is a member of a four-man syndicate.

The police source said:

“In her statement, she confessed that the syndicate’s mode of operation was to lurk around bank premises, while her role was to accost a bank customer suspected to be with money.

“The suspect explained that she would pretend that she was new in Lagos and asked for direction from the victim. Simon would subsequently make shocking spiritual revelations about her victim, after which she would advise that a special prayer must be offered for the victim.

“The next move was to take the victim to a nearby place where the three other accomplices were waiting and they would replace the money withdrawn by the victim with disposable papers, covered with a few Naira notes.”

Remember. Logic, permutation and trends aid predictions. Many of your prophets are just 9jaBet players in collar. Use your head. Religion is a snare. Your ‘Men of God’ are fallible. Be guided.

Do note that GOAT means Greatest of all Time.

Be kind enough to share your thoughts with me in the comment section.

Cheers to a soothing weekend.

Random Thoughts With Asat – Mayorly Tracy

This should be very short.

I’m not under any pressure. Having said that, i should probably point out that people around me are getting married these days it reminds me i’m not getting any younger. Having served together in Iseyin, it was up to Mayowa (My Thursday After CDS “Poundedyam Abete Rendezvous”) to get married. Coded guy! Mayor just pulled a Beyonce on us all and drop a Lemonade. Interestingly, his wive is more of a cherry sweet beauty and has no soar taste.

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Mayor, The Real G!

Eight months together in the same lodge, I developed a spunky and hearty bond with Tracy. A charming heart and lovely soul. She had left Warri all the way to Oyo state, spent a year, got her NYSC certificate and apparently on the verge of picking up a marriage certificate, all thanks to the national service.

I hope to be like you guy soon. (Apparently, when i grow up) But until then, I wish you both nothing but joy and happiness in the path of life you’ve chosen.

Blessings on Blessings!

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The Dabbing Bride

 

 

 

Random Thoughts With Asat: The Hausas. Ten Myth, Facts and Forklore.

Nine years ago, the farthest I’ve travelled in this country was Kwara state. First it was offa, then Oro and finally, Ilorin. Press the “fast forward” button to 2016 and I’ve known places. Well, it’s a privilege. Not that I’m a tourist who’s paying for the trips with his money.

I’ve been to the northern part of this country. In fact, I’ve been to the north and I’ve also been to the core north. Trust me, there’s a big difference between the two. If you’ve been to Abuja, Kaduna or even Nassarawa, you surely know the north. If you’ve however travelled through Sokoto, Katsina or even Kebbi, then you’re at liberty to talk about the core north.IMG_20160208_142116[1]

Having spent all my life in the South, I grew up with some incorrect, sometimes absurd, information about the northerners. Permit me to highlight briefly the ten things you probably don’t know about the Hausas.

  • All Northerners Are Not Hausas

Wrong idea! Many of you assume unnecessarily that anyone from the north is/must be a Hausa. Meanwhile, a Fulani man can beat you up if you refer to him as a Hausa man.

  • Daura Is The Spiritual Home Of The Hausas

You know the relevance of Ile-Ife to the yorubas, right? Same applies to Daura (Buhari’s hometown). The Hausa kingdom began as seven states inhabited by Hausa-speakers. These are known as the true Hausas. They are: Daura, Kano, Katsina, Zaria, Gobir, Rano and Biram. The other half of the kingdom was called the Banza Bakwai (Bastard or Bogus seven). They are: Zamfara, Kebbi, Yauri, Gwari, Kwararafa, Nupe and Ilorin.

  • The Core North Is Hot

Sokoto is the Federal Capital of Planet Mercury. And am not even exaggerating. Of course, this might not be a breaking news but trust me, the hotness is in HD. I once took a bike ride, expecting to receive fresh air (breeze) once the bike was in motion. OYO was just my case! The “breeze” hitting my body was like the steam of a locomotive train. When it rains, it herald heat, when it’s cold, it’s also in excess.

  • An Average Hausa Man is Honest

Honesty is still a virtue to a typical Hausa man. While in Daura, I got to realize that you can call an Okada man, give him a download of groceries you intend to buy in the market, hand the money over to him and go to bed. He’ll surely bring your goods to you and hand over the exact change! Hypothetically speaking, the word Gaskia (Truth) is held sacred. When a seller tells you Gaskia, believe me, he can’t/won’t sell below that price.

  • Don’t Drink But Smoke

Following the tenets of Islam, drinking alcohol is usually considered a taboo. As such, most beer shops are located outside the cities and towns. But Smoking is allowed. And people here can smoke the light out of a floodlight! I’ve seen a family where all the members share smoke sticks. The total number of people that smoke in the south east still won’t half the number of smokers in Kano alone. In addition, the constant abuse of codeine is a menace the government battle daily. Add Shisha, and the party is just about to commence.

  • The 10:00am Golden Rule

Kano is the commercial center of the north. But business activities don’t start here till 10:00am in any given day. Forget the “Lagos doesn’t sleep” syndrome of the West or the “24/7 hustle spirit” of the East. Kano sleeps comfortably when it’s time to and guess what? Millions, if not billions, exchange hands in singer market and the other big markets daily.

  • The Smuggling Business

In certain areas in Katsina and Sokoto state, the best buildings you’ll see in the towns are Filling Stations. Houses are built with muds in the villages yet “beautiful” filling stations are scattered all around. My curiosity led me to a shocking discovery. Most of the filling stations smuggle the fuel into Niger Republic and sell, thereby making a 100% increase in profit. The “Oyel blood money” is also been spent here and it’s the quickest way the elites are getting rich.

  • Foreign Haven

You’ve been told that many foreigners live in Jos. You’ve also heard that it’s because of the cool weather in J-town. You should also know that many foreigners live in Kano too and they own almost all the eateries in the city. They mix with the locals well and feel safe. Unlike the South-South, the fear of kidnappers barely exist.

  • Mutilated Spenders

If there’s one thing the Yorubas are good at, it’s the idea of rejecting the Naira note the moment a little dent is on it. “The #100 sign is not showing well below”, the old pepper-seller will shout at you. “Why is the CBN Governor signature not clear”, the Danfo conductor will scream loud. But a trader in the north will collect the mutilated money from you so far it’s a Naira and genuine.

  • The North is Safe

Boko haram, Yes! I know. They kill, kidnap and rape girls but it’s majorly in Borno. The greater part of the north is safe. The people are friendly and quite hospitable.

 

Those are some of my thoughts for today. As usual, feel free to share yours with me in the comment section.

The Tanzanian Approach -Ten Things Nigeria Can Learn

John Magufuli is doing what has been termed the “Rwandanisation of Tanzania”. If you dont know about what Paul Kagame has done with Rwanda make Google your friend.

New Tanzania President did this in just 3 Month – AMAZING

Here are some of the things John Magufuli has done already in LESS THAN A MONTH. Not in 3 or 6 years, one month. He’s shown a clear commitment to walk the talk but not to talk and talk and talk and talk more like we do here:

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New Tanzania President

1. Soon after his election, Magufuli declared there would be no celebration of Independence Day on 9 December because it would be “shameful” to spend huge sums of money on the celebrations when people were dying of cholera. Instead, the day has been set as a national day of cleanliness, and the money will go toward street¬cleaning services. He has said everybody should pick up their tools and clean their backyards.

2. After his first official visit to the Muhimbili Hospital, and seeing the horrible state it was in, he ordered over 200 million shillings marked for “parliament parties” be used to pay for beds for people lying on the floor and sharing beds.

A few days later 300 beds were delivered. He dismissed the governing board and got a new team in place, and within days the broken MRI was fixed. He also pared down his inauguration party from $100,000 to $7,000 and sent the extra money to the hospital.

3. Three days into his term, Magufuli announced a ban on all foreign travel by government officials. They have been instructed to instead make regular visits to rural areas to learn and help solve problems facing everyday Tanzanians. All tasks that required officials to travel abroad would instead be done by high commissioners and ambassadors who are already in place.

4. He has restricted all first and business class travel to government officials, except the president, vice¬president and prime minister.

5. There will be no more workshops and seminars in expensive hotels when there are so many ministry board rooms available.

6. He suspended the Tanzania Revenue Authority’s chief and other officials pending investigations after a visit by Prime Minister Kassim Majaliwa to the port of Dar es Salaam found 350 containers listed in its books were missing.

7. When he had to travel 600km to Dodoma, from Dar, to officially open parliament last week, he didn’t order a private jet – instead, he chose to drive.

8. At the National Assembly in Dodoma last week he clearly sent out the message that it will not be business as usual under his leadership.

9. He promised to cut public spending, fight corruption and enhance accountability in public service. He said it is time for Tanzanians to walk the talk.

10. Magufuli reportedly told parliamentary leaders that the people of Tanzania want him to solve their problems and not make speeches.

 

What’re your thoughts? Remember to share in the comment section.

How I wish we could learn….By Kwame Gyan

c. Merih-News.com

Random Thoughts With Asat – Nollywood, Telemundo and your Head

It’s 12 midnight. For reasons known to you, you’re not indoor. Briskly, as a certified hard guy, you’re trekking home. The thought of Armed Robbers doesn’t scare you a bit. Nah today? If anyone would think of robbing you or causing you harm in this area, then they must think twice. You be the Area father now! Boys hail you when you pass during the day: “Baba ooooo”, “Domo!”, “Anything for the boys”, “Baba nah you ooooo”, if anything would scare you, then its IUPAC name should start with L, ends with N and ranged by I and O. Your confidence is sky high.

 
Seventy (70) meters to your door, the power distribution company seized the light. Total Darkness. For the first time that night, you realized the monster star called the moon never opened shop for the night “Oh Boy! Which kin set-up be this”? You grinned. But you’re tough. You’re a hard guy, nothing scares you. Sixty (60) meters to your door, you paused. Two eyes are staring at you. Hidden under the darkness, it has a golden glow. But the body is evasive. “What’s this”? Before your lips could possibly pronounce Dasuki, you’d beaten Usain Bolt 60M Indoor championship record with no prior training. All the hard guy for nothing! A black cat just humbled you.

 

 

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What’s it with cats and Nigerians? What’s the difference between a black cat and a white cat? Why are you indifferent to a black dog but despise a black cat? If I tell you the simple reason, will you believe? Will you accept and remain silent?
Superstition. Fired, boiled and cooked by the movie industry, have fooled you for a while. Well, to be honest, you’ve been fooled all your life.

 
Nollywood, Gollywood, Kannywood and all the Tiger Woods available have, overtime, rearrange and realign your thinking. You now believe that all the old women in your village are witches, sadly many add their grannies to the infamous list. You believe that many rich men got their money through rituals. You believe that nothing can happen to you as a result of “Time and Chance”, instead there must be a “spiritual” reason behind it. You can’t give birth; you are sick; you can’t get a job; you have headache; your pimples is getting bigger; someone is definitely behind it. Like my people will say; “someone is doing you”. And when you start probing further, they’ll tell you it’s your grandfather’s third wife that’s behind your ordeal.

 
Truth is, the movie industry in Nigeria has done its part in shaping people’s mind, aligning and realigning people’s thoughts. And as it seems many Nigerians are emotionally attached to what they watch, ignoring the fact that movies majorly exist for entertainment and it’s a make believe industry. That’s why Telemundo is currently doing its best in hampering the emotions of our sisters. Telemundo is majorly scripted on the premise of love but the truth is, it doesn’t follows the trail of realities. The storyline is usually of a boy and a girl who fall in love but an obstacle stays in the way of their love. It’s either a wife who is forced on the poor guy or an estranged wife who refused to divorce him for selfish reasons or an unfortunate young girl finds love in the arms of the master and it takes the young, rich, handsome dude three seasons of the movie to notice the love and another two seasons to get her to look his way.

 
The effect? Our sisters don’t seek Love again. They want True Love. Thus, they apply abstractions into becoming realities. They are on a quest to find the ultimate love. This movies turn a blind eyes to harsh realities. A boy loves you and want to give his all. He wish to call you all day and hear your sweet voice but guess what? MTN is sapping his credit mercilessly. He wants to take you out and lavish money on you but he’s currently jobless. See, watching and immersing yourself into this make believes is not the problem. But when you start comparing Diego and Paloma’s love to yours and that of your man then it’s a disaster waiting to happen. What is acted in films should stay in films. They’re not worth losing your relationships over. Ask yourself, did the actors and actresses that acted that perfect love scene in the play have a smooth relationship in the real world either? That should answer it!

 

What are your thoughts on this? As usual, share them with me and let’s rub minds in the comment section.