Random Thoughts With Asat – Insatiable Goals (Pre-18)

This was to be a motivational article. But I’m less motivated to even motivate you. So I’ll write my thoughts and drop the mic, Obama style.

Are we together?

What is your goal in life? Does the following tick it for you?

• Make money;
• Marry that soul mate;
• Make more money;
• Have kids.
• Holiday in Bahamas enroute Seychelles Island.

You are on the right path. But that’s not why I’m writing. You see, our goals in life is a function of our circumstances and a subset of our age. I’m saying our goals move with our lives. Here, allow me to highlight some of the goals you’ve had, fulfilled and forgotten.

The ultimate goal, while we were small and in primary school, that comes to mind is the transition from pencil to biro. Oh yeah, we’ll should remember that. Teachers saying you’re too young to use biro and you’re condemned to that 2B pencil because you’re just not wise enough not to soil your notebook with ink and ink and more ink.

And the day you made the transition, you felt like a big boy and a slay queen, didn’t you? You started walking with a raised shoulder like

That’s goal number 1.

Then, you started craving for positions, even at that young age. You wanted to be the class captain (class rep is for the new millennium kids, I suppose). You wanted that power because your plan was to write noise makers without putting your name and yours in it. Strategizing and lobbying surely began at that age.

Then, in your last year in primary school, the goal was to be a prefect. In the first ten years of your life, your goals in life are mostly academic inclined. You wanted to upgrade, command respect and fling power. Not bad.

The next phase of your life, starting from age eleven is a fusion of academics and puberty goals. The first goal is acing that Common Entrance exam and entering that choice school. You beat that, then the whole class captain and power merchant struggle returned.

If you are egocentric, you’re also now much concerned about your grade. You want to top your class and be referenced by the teachers. That’s all you wanted at that point in time. And if it’s not working out for you, you start sulking like Alexis Sanchez.

And if your secondary school was like mine, the ultimate goal at the junior level was to move to the senior class, start wearing long trousers rather than the shorts that were akin to the designers modelled at Alagbon.

Oddly, the goal was also to have veto power over the juniors, send them on errands, collect their food and punish them just for no reason.

Sandwich in-between academics, the puberty goals were even more pronounced. As a guy, getting that first strand of hair beneath your mouth is the best feeling ever. And if it’s long enough to be stroked, you’ve surely made it in life.

Those tiny, curly and mostly useless beards were the ish at that age. We legit looked forward to growing one. And for those who were impatient, daily application of medicated spirit on the jaw still didn’t help their life.

The girl goal was to have noticeable reproductive organs and they ridiculed those who were late boomers.

Then, you got to the stage of turning your crush into your lover. Oh wait, you’ve been having crushes right from primary school, isn’t it? I know. But then, you didn’t have the problem of asking girls out or how to feel and react when you’re asked out. So you get to secondary school and you start looking forward to meeting the love of your life and doing all the lovey lovey things.

You’ve listened to all the albums of Westlife, Celine Dion, Joe, RKelly and Styl Plus were your role model. So you have an idea of how love should be played and it’s all sweet in your head. Then you asked her out, she agreed, you dated, reality checked in and it’s all over before it even started.

Heartbreak Hotel.

After several attempts at having a girlfriend, attempts been several letter writing, poems composition, confirm Song of Solomon toasting and those bad ass gators you imbedded on your trouser so you could look peng, the first day a girl says yes, you couldn’t believe it. You were like, so I can actually toast a girl and she’ll say yes? You run off to celebrate with your boys..

Finally, the goal was to graduate. But then graduation was one thing, passing your WASSCE with flying color was another. That was the ultimate goal of the secondary school. And many of us, if not all scaled through. From the day you checked your result in the cyber cafe and you passed, you sure knew your level don change.

There you go. That’s me done with the first part of this goals trilogy.

As always, kindly endeavor to drop a comment. Especially as it relate to goals you had pre-18.

Random Thoughts With Asat – Ìjẹ̀bú-Igbo, Hides and Ponmo

So last week I was in Ìjẹ̀bú with wọlé and big mummy on some outta town trips. Glazing through the potholes of road and the numerous police checkpoints, we landed in the ancient city of Ìjẹ̀bú-Igbo. The ogún state government is erecting an overhead bridge that’s looked absolutely unnecessary and a classical case of white elephant project. That is another day’s story.

Few drive from the bridge we arrived at our location. An innocuous part of the town, kids and teenagers brandishing their white teeth at us. Then the first image caught my attention.

Oh! You’re confused too? To be honest, I initially thought it’s a stack of wood. Then I said no, this should be some towels. Or am I having my brightness disorder all over again? I finally reassured myself that it must be Guinea brocade fabric of same colour.

Well, wọlé brought me back to sensibility. All I saw was the outer layer of a cow. The hide that the butchers in the north decided not too incinerate with the cow. What I saw was the same they sell up the continent to the babariga adorning Moroccan leather designers.

Quick questions revealed that a trailer full arrive this location with the hides and the process of making the world famous Ponmo begins. Using a combination of salt, natural sun and incinerators. The salt act as a natural preservative as it renders the hides almost odorless and keep the flies away.

After several hours in the incinerator and consistent sun drying, your really, sumptuous and tasty ponmo is ready.

Do ensure you soak the ponmo overnight before consumption. That softens it and remove the excess salt that was used to preserve the hides.

When next you enjoy that original ponmo, be rest assured it was likely “manufactured” from Ìjẹ̀bú-Igbo. A soothing southern-Northern bilateral trade.

Kindly remember to leave a comment behind after reading. I always respond, in most cases.

Please, share on your platforms.

Cord Lace vs Bathroom Slippers

You can’t be matching your cord lace with bathroom slippers. No, you can’t!

Cord Lace. Elegant and Non Spurious

So, I have been seeing all this plenty posts all over the social media on girls of this generation being slay mamas and queens devoid of brain, substance, industriousness and charisma. Okay, today won’t be a day for slay mama argument I promise but guys, before you decide to wear your cord lace out, you better not be matching it with rubber slippers!

Take a critical look at the average male of this generation, his life revolves around his football team, FIFA17, Nairabet, Bet9ja, Accumulators, odds and the likes. His bragging right is earned by the number of girls he has “shyked” and his impending targets. Many of them cannot even hold an intelligent conversation. Try to strike up a conversation with them and expect a drubbing flow like this:

Him: Hi babe

Girl: Hi

Him: Xup?

Girl: I’m very fine, thank you.

Him: It’s raining here, I’m feeling cold.

Girl: Oh. Try and get covered

Him: Hmmm, can i come and hug you?

Pathetic bathroom slipper! (Have they stolen the transformer in your street?)

Ask him about himself and expect to hear something like:

My name is Dan, I’m from Ondo state, I’m a graduate of……… no substance whatsoever!

All his comments will not be more than wow! wow!! wow!!! ( bro, you an ambulance?) babe you’re so hot, send me your more pictures.  In fact, you’re an angel blah blah bleh bleh

Try to be over reaching and ask him his pursuits/ambitions. Then expect one rubbish answer like ” Omo, I wan hustle o, make I buy Range Rover or Bugatti” – another layer of trash.

If he asks you about yourself, my dear sister don’t bother to go too real oh. Absolutely unnecessary because he expects something like: My name is precious, my friends call me Chocolate Curvy Goddess. My hooked-on channel is E! and my favorite color is pink. I love tall, fair bearded guys with pink lips. Don’t go make the mistake of discussing your interests in Classics, books, travel and your entrepreneurial skills. He can’t handle such.

He’s just a future head that have no life ambitions. He’s not goal oriented, not widely read, no business/skill knowledge, he’s also not patient. All he can offer is his torn-jean swag, fineBoyism, knowledge of football bants, his skills in female conquering and he doesn’t even respect his parents.

Lord swRagzzz, first of his name

Mtsheeew, oniranu!

Finally brethren, before you go on to insult a girl, saying she’s beneath your level or a slay mama by insisting she’s not a real woman, uncle, ask your self, do I deserve a real woman? You are there shouting real woman, real woman like a fuel price hike protester. If you want one, you better not plan to match her cord lace with that your bathroom slippers!

 

As always, short but insightful. Don’t forget to drop your comments and questions below.

Till another time on here, it’s Au Revoir.

 

Temikotan Precious Aderonke is a trained Microbiologist, beauty consultant (Not Make-up Artist) and currently a “Kopa” serving in the Fountain of Knowledge.

 

Why 2017 is the year of the Entrepreneur

In User eXperience (UX) design, we talk of user personas. In simple terms, a persona is one of many ideal persons that would eventually use a product you’re designing. To illustrate, if Facebook was still a project on Mark Zuckerberg’s laptop today, a UX designer creates ideal images of persons who would probably be interested in social media and why. A teenager, a housewife, an unemployed graduate – all would be personas for the future Facebook.

You see, real entrepreneurs see everything as a product. This article you’re reading is a product. You are the user. Who are you? Why are you reading this? What made you click the link to the article? Was it the keyword Entrepreneur? Was it the urgency of the year 2017? Was it just boredom? As the product designer, I need to know, in advance. Without this foreknowledge, my product (article) is doomed even before it reaches the internet.

So seriously, who are you? Let me guess.

• An unemployed graduate seeking a way out through business.
  An employed person dissatisfied with their job and wants out to start own business.
• You’re OK with your job for now but want to start a side business, just in case.
• You’re really passionate about entrepreneurship and would never work for anyone else but yourself.
• A housewife with a Bsc who needs to show the strength of a Woman in business.
• You’re already running your own business but it’s failing.The headline was an immediate encouragement and you just had to read the article.
• In reality, I didn’t have to create so many personas before writing this article. Likely, none of the personas above screamed your name. Or one did! If so, you‘re indeed home.

Truth be told, entrepreneurs are total fools. They’re revel in their wild dreams. They dare imagine creating a better world from a whimsical app. And add to that their utter arrogance: everyone must buy into their dreams without thinking. And when no one does, not even lovely mom, the unrepentant entrepreneur calls everyone losers. “I’ll take the plunge a lone star. And they’ll all see me shining over Silicon Valley in no time”, the dreamer says to herself.

But hey… I’m totally with you on this. I’ve been there and I still am. I know the feeling, the rejection, the frustration, the near breakdowns, the ‘bankruptcy’, and the mirth of victory (eventually). If you’ve been patient to read this far, the title of the article is apparently forgotten by now.

Flashback: Why 2017 is the year of the Entrepreneur.

Ok this has nothing to do with the recession. In fact, recession, IMO, is just a buzzword to describe the fiscal deficiency of a nation. It doesn’t address the fundamental trouble – an over dependence on government to fund our lives, which translates to a dearth of successful entrepreneurs. Or that feeling of entitlement your BSc endowed you. No you’re not entitled to anything. You’ve not created anything!

Entrepreneurs are creators of value.

So if you’ve been thinking of burning your dreams and picking up that ‘reliable’ 8 to 5 job, please STOP! You don’t know what you have. Your dreams are enough value, if you build them into products.

Guess what? You don’t need an MBA to design products that grow. Why? Your dreams are your dreams. Only you can live them! And don’t you ever forget that. Business schools are too routine to get you out of first gear. An MBA is for your future 8 to 5 CEO/CFO/COO, while you travel the world and dream more. Did Zuckerberg’s African trip pop into your mind? Stop it! The Facebook founder isn’t your reference point. You’ll never build another facebook. But you’ll build and grow your own business.

I can only help you in one way. I’ll teach you all I know and have done on product design. I wanna show you how to take your idea off your mind to Market. We’ll chat about idea and product validation, UX design ( I love this), MVP (don’t worry it’s just an unnecessary buzzword),product launch and everything between. I’m not going to speak Silicon Valley gibberish, I’ll talk as a fellow inhabitant of Africa.

The sessions are FREE!

I’ll be teaching Product Design: Idea to Market, on a simple platform we all use, whatsapp, over 3 evenings from April 23 to 25, 2017. Just send me your name and email address on 08143805147, on whatsapp to book a place.

Tell others of this interactive online course by SwitBai Academy. Let’s build our ideas into products together!

 

 

Muyiwa Ogundare is a teacher, life coach, entrepreneur, techy junky and the managing partner at Switbai Nigeria. 

I’ll Forever miss you Deborah Chika

Once upon a time, on a bright sunny day, I set out for my summer coaching centre. That year was ’05. I was preparing for my GCE. Usual bants from the boys were flowing around. Then something caught my attention, a young pretty lady with a bible. That isn’t unusual. But she’s with the New World Translation. I struck up a conversation.

Fast forward to ’08, our path crossed again. This time, series of conversations had passed and a friendship had ensued. By’ 09, we became school mates and the friendship got stronger.

You see, I’d always thought about life from the leftist perspective. This young woman groomed me. I had two mothers in school, Aunty Bolanle abandoned me after she graduated, the other stuck with me even with my faults. She taught me life. She taught me strength. She taught me courage in the face of adversity.

She taught me how to love a woman.

I have so much to say but words are deserting me at this point. Memories are flooding my head I can’t seem to stick with one. My eyes tarry as I write this. My mind wanders into the unknown.

We’re born, and then we gone. Nobody lives forever. It’s alright and then it’s not. Freedom is a kind of prison.

I can see the future, I have a dream. I see people free from the pain within. I see God’s kingdom.

From the highway of life, I see reflections from a distance, see them walking on the water. The closer I get, the faster it fades away. The mirage of life. Everything you thought you knew today, fades away.

Every memories we share stays with me. I wish I could document them. I wish I could record all and keep it save for references. Can’t believe I’m writing this.

Once upon a time, I made you promise not to ever die before me. I said I wasn’t going to forgive you if you did….

Valential Arabella Rain.

Chattel.

Princess.

Last born.

Mummy’s handbag.

Olúwa Chika.
Chika with the “CH” and not “SH”.

Never stopped loving you. No I never did.

Thanks for living a worthy life in Jah’s service.

Thanks for gracing us with your presence on this earth.

You’ve given us another reason to look forward to when He’ll call, and all those sleeping in death will answer. 

My thoughts are with your husband and children, your mum and dad, your siblings and all those you genuinely cared for.

Keep on resting Deborah Abike Chika.

See you soon Ukachukwu Gold.

Your friend,

Tolulope.

Random Thoughts with Asat – The Davinci Bro Code

In the world of gender equality, feminism and macholism we find ourselves, the male folks have a pivotal distinct advantage over the female lots. A code. Greater than that forged by Da Vinci. Unwritten, hardly mentioned yet formidable. It’s intriguing to note that these set of rules have, over the years, bonded the male folks. No matter where you come from, age or antecedent, so far you’re a guy, you’re bound to respect the Bro Code.

Here I give to you the top six bro codes. 

Random Thoughts with Asat – Wedding, Marriage and Tonto

This should be short.

I hope.

So news making the round for the past two weeks were varied allegations and counter allegations by Mrs Churchill and Her Immaculate Mr X. That their celebrity marriage is heading for a crash is not a major news item again, to be sincere. These days, Nepa light in my area last longer than most of the celebrity co-unions. What strikes me was the lies and fronting Tonto Dikeh had been pushing forward about her marriage to her willing consumers before it purported crash.

Your see, Mrs Tonto has had us believe her marriage was Eldorado. Branding it as major goals for them single ladies. Her wedding was goals for many ladies and they are still hell-bent on finding a man like Churchill who will spoil them silly. We were all chilling in the comfort of our homes when Mrs Tonto broke the news of her husband buying her a Lexus Jeep. Just for keeps. She had serialized our eyes with a whole lot of material possessions her LOML had been dishing out day in, day out. Our single sisters had all been hoping, wishing and praying for a man like Churchill. 

Once again, the society focus have been on the wedding and not the marriage. The focus have shifted from compatibility and comfort in marriage to material possessions and gift. Fame, money and class have replace humility, tolerance and self-sacrificing spirits.

My generation is now more concerned with pre-wedding shots, Bridal shower, Bella naija wedding, bespoke event centers and ovation centre spreads. My generation will attend a wedding ceremony and won’t bother saying a prayer for the new couple. Instead, we will argue and compare the wedding with the prior one we attended last Saturday. My generation will analyse the bride from the wedding gown to the make up. 

The holy matrimony between a couple goes beyond the wedding day. Our focus should be on the marriage and not the frivolities that surround one Saturday afternoon. 

Weddings maximally last for five hours. Marriage is a lifelong commitment. But if you’re a Mrs Churchill and Mr X, maybe if they can last a year. Be guided. 

 

Rant Over!

Be kind enough to leave a comment below. 

Picture credit. Larthorber photography

Novels, Novels and More Novels

Hello friends and fellow novel lovers.

I’m Lisbeth Salander and this is my welcome note.

Welcome to the novel world. Granted, you love novels and that’s why you’re here.

Yeah you heard me, I said novels. And when I say novels, I also mean, by extension, everything pertaining to novels. Things like writing, whether for novels, magazines- whatever you can think of, and reading too.

However, I know of you friends who do not like novels, maybe because they seem too long and it’s really sickening for you to imagine yourself sit (or lye- like me) for hours doing nothing but reading; or maybe you can’t seem to concentrate on a book , however interesting, for a long time.

Hmmmmm.

Whatever your reason, if you would like to learn of how you can enjoy reading novels or books in general, not necessary long ones though, be ALERT and WATCH OUT for one of my succeeding posts. I’ll even suggest novellas that would make you want to read their related novels.

For my novel lovers, I have really interesting books for you too and lengthy series that would keep you going all year

Just wait and see!!!!

Lisbeth Salander  is an ardent communicator and writes from the Pan African University in Lagos, Nigeria.

Water, Water and Harmattan

Hello People. I am Back!

A very long sabbatical it was and i’m sorry for the break in transmission. It’s like forever since I shared something about Spotless Skin – Secrets Revealed. I had a whole lot of things to wrap up but truly, I am fully back.

This heat is getting unbearable and the truth is I can’t just wait for harmattan to lower the temperature. The sun this days is rated 18+ biko. The harmattan season, which most people dread, can actually be enjoyable with the right routine. Trust me, I know.

Visibility is usually poor during Harmattan

It’s a common knowledge harmattan often stresses the skin. So on beauty corner this week, let’s talk about this awesome pill I discovered recently. Don’t worry its not bitter. It’s cheap, easily affordable and totally works wonders.

The magic potion is mother earth’s milk..ok, ok, it’s WATER. Yes!

The effect of Harmattan can be very brutal

Water taken in the appropriate amounts can help cushion the effects of harmattan and actually make it enjoyable. For those that can, water therapy during this season can reduce dry lips, thirst and dry itchy skin. I have a easy schedule for my personal therapy that I would like to share with you.

Here it goes:

• Drink 120ml of water immediately you wake up. Do not eat anything one hour prior to and after drinking. If you are starting for the first time, start with about 75ml and then increase it a gradual pace.
• Wait for 45 minutes after meal before drinking water. When you do, drink at least  50ml, an equivalent of  1 sachet of pure water.
• Do not drink soda or soft drinks with meals, and if you must, drink them separately.
• Never go to bed thirsty. If you feel thirsty,satisfy that urge before you go to bed.

NB:The quality of water you drink matters. Please make sure your water source is portable.
A little exercise also helps. I personally prefer a short run because i’m a lazy runner but if you can it is helpful to warm up on a cold morning and get sweaty a bit. It helps to beat the cold and keep fit at the same time.

Europeans will say Winter is Coming. In Nigeria, we say Harmattan is coming.

Be prepared!

Till next week on Beauty Corner, stay healthy, stay fresh and stay beautiful.

Short but useful. Don’t forget to drop your comments and questions..

Till then, it’s Au Revoir.

Temikotan Precious Aderonke is a trained Microbiologist and an alumna of The Federal University of Technology, Akure.

 

Happy Anniversary To Us

How. Time. Flies.

Happy Anniversary with WordPress.com!

You registered on WordPress.com 4 years ago.

Thanks for flying with us. Keep up the good blogging.

I woke up to a happy anniversary message this morning. It’s been four wonderful years of blogging. Four years of sharing my thoughts using the WordPress platform. Four years of reading people’s comments on my posts and having the most tickling feeling only I can explain. You all have been my support over the years. I’d disturb your timelines with my posts on Facebook and everywhere and tagged a whole lot of you. Annoying something! But the love you had for me came through and you all hardly lay a complaint.

Thank You.

Older friends would remember the days of press council in Aquinas College. News we would broadcast to the school community every Friday. The seed had been sown and I took the budding cud to the Uni. Together with John and the team, as the Editor-In-Chief of my department’s press council, which we ran like the University press council, we broke records. We surpassed our expectation to say the least. Our Bi-monthly publications were usually a sold out, our information board was fully engaging and the whole press council project was a fantastic learning curve. We interviewed senior lecturers and hey, we also interviewed the Vice Chancellor. Massive moments those were. Victor, world class graphic designer, Gbemisola, Fortune, the sport correspondent, Dami, Tosin and a whole lot of you I possibly can’t mention. You guys were the best.

While many only see blogging through the needle’s eyes of Google Ad-sense and all, making money out of it has never been my drive. I see a platform where thoughts and ideas can be expressed. And I’ve been doing that for four years now.

I’ve been honored to have guest writers on this page. While they are currently on self induced vacation, be rest assured Beauty Corner with Precious and Shots on Target with Kholar will be back very soon. In the meantime, i should introduce the elegant Lisbeth Salander. She’s the latest addition to the family and going forward she’ll be delighting novel lovers with her thoughts. Something you need to look forward to.

If you’re wondering how I fared with my first blog post, check Here.

 

Exciting times await us all!

As always, make friends with the comment section.